Seeking Balance-It’s in the Thinking
I want to pause before elaborating on how I use these categories in my own life.
I was asked a good question about overwhelm and how I do so many things. It’s true. I do a lot of things in my life, mostly because I wear many hats. But what we’re talking about here isn’t about doing more things. It’s about the way we think about the things we do. The brutal truth is, no matter how many experts write books on task management and how many researchers explore efficiency, no one will ever discover a magic solution that will allow one to write a chapter of a novel while also answering email, paying bills and working out. I know, it’s disappointing news. I remember my similar disappointment as a child when I finally accepted the fact that short of recording multiple tracks, I would never be able to sing harmony with myself no matter how I manipulated my vocal chords. Being human… it’s tough.
Sometimes one can order tasks differently to speed things up, but in the end, we can honestly only do one, or maybe two things at one time. (If, say, we’re listening to an audio book and running at the same time.) But wouldn’t you say that attempting to pack more into every second is the opposite of balance? For me, balance is having a steady measuring stick that reassures or challenges me. I can easily look back over my day or week and say with clarity: I’m paying attention to the things that matter. I’m not a puppet being pulled by the strings of my life. I’m taking stock, adjusting, and while I’m never going to be perfect, I’m rather proud of myself for where I am right now. And perhaps, tomorrow, I should pay more attention to that big-picture priority that I seem to be avoiding.
I believe that overwhelm also starts in the thinking. It starts when you wake up with the to-do list scrolling through your mind, and that tiny inner voice whispers, I’ll never get it all done. You’ve started your day already behind, and you race through, trying to get to everything, and when you lay back down at night, you scold and berate yourself: I didn’t get it all done! I’m a complete disaster-mess.
Here’s the truth: you’re not going to get it all done. There’s far too much interesting, exciting, important stuff to do in our lives, and we’re just not capable of experiencing or accomplishing all of it. I used to tell myself this in one breath and in the next wave it away with a: Yeah, but I’m different. I might just be able to… Maybe you’re superwoman or superman, and you’re different from all the rest of us. But unless that’s the case, every day is going to be a fail until you change the way you think.
What I wasn’t willing to do was to simply accept that I wouldn’t get it all done and let myself be buffeted by the winds of chance and my overflowing inbox. Other people shouldn’t have the power to determine what you do with your time. Other people probably don’t want to. They haven’t sat quietly and set overall life goals for you and thought about priorities and considered your whole life. They’re just trying to make it through their own. The person who needs to reflect and consider and pray and contemplate to determine what’s important is you. And once you’ve set your priorities, you can ensure you’re dealing with the important things with the frequency they require. So, that’s why you need a list of your core priorities. But please don’t think of this list as a new to-do list. Call it your priority list or your essentials list or your “what I can’t live without list.”
I’ll write more soon about how I use my list in case you want tips for what to do with such a list once you have it. Until then, peace and balance to you.
