Why is finding a rhythm in life so challenging? At the beginning of the year, many of us re-shuffle our plans to create more clarity and ease in our lives, but within weeks (if not days) we find ourselves out of step again.
Why do we lose our life’s rhythm?
For many reasons. Exciting ones such as:
- We encounter exciting new opportunities.
- Success changes our circumstances and routines.
- Life’s surprises show up.
And frustrating ones such as:
- We run into unexpected challenges.
- Our plans don’t match up with others’ plans.
- We want to make everyone happy.
- We started out with impossible expectations for ourselves.
- In the moment, we make decisions that clash with our big-picture hopes and dreams.
We resist establishing a rhythm to our routine because we know one or all of these (good and bad) things will happen. The dissonance between the routine we desire and the life we’re living is unsettling. We’re living an out-of-sync song.
Is finding a rhythm in life possible?
Rhythm is never static. In music, we establish a downbeat and play from there. Even though we may speed up or slow down, subdivide or syncopate, the downbeat provides the foundation for the song. In this way, life’s rhythm is also fluid, but essential. Without a strong downbeat, we can’t help but get lost. We all experience surprises, challenges and detours, but if we’ve established a norm, we can measure our distance from that norm. We can find our way back.
What does rhythm in life look like?
I don’t know about you, but when I decide I need to do more of something–say working out–any time I’m not doing that thing, I feel guilty. The trouble is, at any given time I have five to ten items on my “I need to do more of that” list. For a long time, I allowed myself to feel guilty much of the time. It wasn’t an overwhelming, devour-my-world guilt. It was a low-level guilt, like a headache you don’t notice until it goes away. Even though it wasn’t overwhelming, my guilt distracted me. I’d be in the middle of writing a new chapter in my novel and think, “Oooh, I should go for a run.”
To me, rhythm in life looks like a clear agreement with myself. This agreement helps me dismiss distracting thoughts. I know how often I’ll go for a run, and generally, when my exercise sessions fit into my week. By creating a structure, I know when I’m deviating from my plan. I can still say yes to surprises, because I know what I’ll need to reschedule in order to make my “yes” possible. Also, the structure provides me with a clear understanding of when I actually AM breaking my commitments to myself. Establishing a rhythm takes up-front effort, but it has made all the difference in my overall focus and momentum.
The benefits of finding a rhythm in life
Life ebbs and flows. When we try to close our eyes and block out everything but our plans, we miss many joyful surprises. And yet, if we fly by the seat of our pants for too long, our big dreams can hover just out of reach. Finding a rhythm in life makes room for what’s actually true. No two days are alike. No plan is followed exactly to the letter. When we dance within that reality, we find momentum AND freedom.
Convinced? Want to try it out for yourself? In case you need a jump-start, I’ve created a Step-by-Step Guide to walk you through the process I used when establishing my own rhythm.
