How do you consume stories? Do you read them? Listen to them? Watch them? Play them out? How many stories have you consumed today? This week?
I’ll venture to guess that stories are a staple of your every day diet, and not just because you’re the kind of person who reads this blog. There’s a reason brands use stories as the foundation for multi-million dollar commercials such as the ones aired during the Super Bowl.
Humans crave stories.
Donald Miller, as part of his Storybrand workshops, points out that stories are built on patterns. Those patterns create clarity in the human mind. In a well-crafted story, a character has a problem and sets out to solve it. Through the story’s twists and turns, the character strives for the desired solution, and in the end he or she either achieves success or does not.
But the point is: We KNOW what the character wants. We can see the character’s progress. We have a mental picture of what success looks like. All the twists and turns in the story are given meaning, when viewed in light of the goal.
Often, life doesn’t feel that clear.
First of all, it’s not easy to figure out the exact problem and identify a clear solution or goal. Maybe we want fourteen things all at the same time. Or maybe we know what we want but we doubt our motives. We want external guidance and assurance that we’re headed in the right direction.
Second, it’s not easy to gauge success. When we watch a character try to solve a problem, we can usually read into his or her internal reasons for needing that problem to be solved. Maybe externally, the Three Pigs each want to build their own houses. But what they really need is a safe place to live. When they end up together in the brick house, safe from the wolf, their deeper longing has been met. They are safe. In our real lives, when we don’t reach our external goals, we feel frustrated. Even if our internal problem is solved, we may not realize that is the case, leaving us feeling foggy and uncertain. We wonder: Have I made progress? Often the missed goal blinds us to the actual success.
But is the story pattern impossible to see in our own lives?
No. Not impossible. And when we do glimpse the story pattern, every twist and turn and challenge and success becomes that much more meaningful. The fog on the path ahead clears, and we see how to carry our life story forward.
Here are some questions I find helpful when reflecting on my own life story.
- What goals am I working toward? (I often look at six key areas of my life when asking this question: core, creativity, commitment, connection, cultivation, casting dreams. More on those categories here.)
- Why? (I ask the question about each goal, and list all the answers that come up.)
- And that’s important because …? (I look at the answers and push myself to go a little deeper. These second tier answers are usually closer to my real reasons.)
- Is there an overall goal that ties these goals together? (Stories make more sense when they are unified. An overall goal might be “I want to be healthy in body, relationships, mind, and spirit.”)
- Am I just starting out or have I been on this journey for a while? (You can decide whether to look at a small, recent story or one that you’ve been telling for a long time. The size of the story is up to you. The goal is to choose a story that is meaningful to you at this current stage of your life.)
Question five can be the basis to draw a map for your life story. Where are the notable successes and where are the setbacks? The more whimsical the map, the more it can transform your experience into something objective that you can look at from the outside. The map then becomes a living document that can accompany you on the journey.
I hope you’ll try this process out for yourself. Over the past couple years, I’ve used a map to chart the story of my year. I’ve gained so much perspective from seeing my story told in this visual, streamlined way. I hope the same is true for you! Feel free to share your story below, or share with the greater community on Facebook or Twitter.
—
Psst… Do you know about Naomi’s Tinder Box: a weekly collection of curated resources, inspiration and encouragement? Keep your creative spark ablaze … sign up for exclusive access here.
