Give me a “30 days to (fill in the blank)” program and I’m in. There’s something about committing fiercely and the progress that comes along with the commitment that makes me feel as though I’m achieving success. In my mind, I call this “getting somewhere.” That’s very telling. Not “getting (fill in the blank with a specific location)” but “getting somewhere.”
Where am I going? What’s the rush?
Don’t get me wrong. Tracking movement in my life and making commitments has served me well. It’s just that I’m realizing the guilt that goes along with these commitments might be stifling the creative winds that flow through my life.
I’m starting to think I should start in a different place. The truth is, anything worth learning to do isn’t done in chunks of 30 days anyway. Instead of committing to cram new information into my head, what if my goal were more authentic, less achievement-oriented? Isn’t my goal actually to live a more creative life, to let myself explore and learn something new? And if exploration is my goal, maybe I need to work on a couple 30 day programs at once, and *gasp* perhaps not complete them in 30 days. Or maybe I need to toss all the 30 day programs out the window and trek out into totally uncharted territory.
Maybe.
To tell the truth, I think we all need both: commitments to ourselves, commitments we strive to achieve, and also flexibility to go with the flow. I’ve started a new habit, one I think might just work for me. Many nights (see I didn’t say “every night…”) I take a few moments to jot some notes down about the day. Did I invest in creative exploration today? Did I invest in friends and family? Did I learn anything new? What am I grateful for today? Over time, I’m starting to see that my impulse isn’t actually to achieve some far-fetched goal, but instead to honor each day–to value my minutes and hours–by being intentional.
Do you track movement in your life in any particular way? I’d love to know.
