Dorothy wanted to find her way home. Harry Potter longed to have his parents back. Luke Skywalker craved an epic adventure. These desires were strong, strong enough to cause Dorothy, Harry and Luke to take action and say yes to the unknown. But by the end of these stories, the goals the characters started out with had changed, grown, and transformed.
One of the most important things my writing has taught me is about the dynamic nature of goals. Namely, I’ve learned that in the best stories, the adventure transforms the goal. Characters may not end up with everything they originally wanted, but they do end up with what they need. Let’s put that a different way, into real life terms.
When we set out to pursue a goal, we may not gain everything we originally wanted, but if we commit fully, and hold our goals with open hands, we will likely end up with what we need.
I have to say, if there is a way for me to gain “what I need,” I’m definitely all for diving in fully. How about you?
Let’s break this down a bit and take a look at what dynamic goal setting looks like.
DECIDE TO TAKE A JOURNEY: First, we check in with ourselves and listen to what is calling our hearts. We ask: What am I longing for?
DRAW YOUR MAP: Then, we set the best goal we can, given the information we have. We write the goal down and post it visibly.
START AT THE TRAILHEAD: Next, we commit fully. We aim for the goal and give the process our full effort. We research and discuss our goal with experts and learn and take action.
LISTEN TO FELLOW TRAVELERS: Now here’s where dynamic goal setting differs from traditional goal setting. Rather than putting up our blinders and pushing on no matter what, we listen. We pay attention to unexpected opportunities that arise. We don’t put in our ear plugs when people we trust challenge us to see our blind spots.
NOTICE THE SIGN-POSTS: We are thoughtful about sidetracks, shortcuts and complete re-routes. We don’t follow every shiny object. We watch for patterns. Most importantly, we take time to slow down and reflect on the question: Is this where I need to go next?
JOURNEY ON: We continue to move forward confidently, allowing our destination to shift as needed, and making sure to collect all of our learning along the way.
CELEBRATE EACH VISTA: When we reach a vista, we stop and reflect, noting how far we’ve come. We write these down too, or record them in some way, so we can keep a running travelogue of our journey. Sometimes a vista is a good time to start the process over again, setting a new goal. Other times, the journey continues onward.
A final thought for travelers …
Often, what we need doesn’t match what we want because our deep, true needs usually involve change and growth. Growth nearly always requires discomfort, and sometimes is even downright painful. In an ideal world, we’d want life to be easy and pain-free. And yet, to me, a pain-free life that I drift through, never growing or learning, sounds miserable. I don’t want to be the same person I am today in ten years. I’m grateful that my experiences to this point have added a richness to my life that it didn’t have when I was 20.
I love how Henry Cloud describes the pain of growth in is book, Necessary Endings. He points out that while we might not describe having a tooth pulled as “good,” once the infected tooth has been removed, we can then heal and move forward. The experience was a positive one, even if we wouldn’t choose to repeat it.
What if, a year from now, you could look back and say, “I’ve had an Alice in Wonderland year.” or “I’ve had a Bilbo Baggins year.” Would you be willing to risk the hardship if you knew you had the opportunity to gain whatever it is YOU truly need?
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